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Posts: 2302
Dec 2 07 2:19 PM
madame duran wrote: First of all, congrats to your friend for gaining freedom FROM Scientology!! ruby wrote: She unceremoniously dumped all her friends when she met this guy, so we weren't on speaking terms or even really friends anymore when she joined (at her choosing), so I'm not really going to be rushing to contact her any time soon. However, I wouldn't wish CO$ on anyone, and I'm glad she's out. I'd love to know the how's and why's of her leaving, though. Right now, that friend of yours is in a very vulnerable position. It's likely that she's feeling very scared and alone, having dumped all her non-Scieno friends through cult-mandated disconnection and cutting herself off from all her Scieno acquaintances by leaving the cult (plus, she lost her boyfriend). She probably thinks that she has no-one to turn to and could use a little glimmer of hope. In my humblest opinion, I think you should temporarily put aside the personal hurt over being dumped and reach out to her as a FRIEND. Just let her know that you are still available to talk then leave the decision up to HER to make the next move. There's no way of knowing how she'll respond but at least you've given her the opportunity to be helped. When she's ready, she'll come. She can't come if she doesn't know that you are there for her. Let her do most of the talking. You're there to be a listening ear and to give practical/emotional support. By all means, ask questions about her experiences in Scientology and what prompted her to finally leave it (Scientologists are routinely discouraged from thinking for oneself or critiquing Scientology so this would be a good exercise for her to do exactly that). I think it's a good idea to get a sense of where she's at and not make any assumptions (e.g. don't launch into a rant about Xenu as she may not have reached the OT 3 level and could honestly say she doesn't know what you're talking about). Once you've had some reasonable time to reconnect, then you can confront her about the hurt feelings and deal with it as good friends would. Just forwarding some thoughts for you to consider.
ruby wrote: She unceremoniously dumped all her friends when she met this guy, so we weren't on speaking terms or even really friends anymore when she joined (at her choosing), so I'm not really going to be rushing to contact her any time soon. However, I wouldn't wish CO$ on anyone, and I'm glad she's out. I'd love to know the how's and why's of her leaving, though.
Right now, that friend of yours is in a very vulnerable position. It's likely that she's feeling very scared and alone, having dumped all her non-Scieno friends through cult-mandated disconnection and cutting herself off from all her Scieno acquaintances by leaving the cult (plus, she lost her boyfriend). She probably thinks that she has no-one to turn to and could use a little glimmer of hope. In my humblest opinion, I think you should temporarily put aside the personal hurt over being dumped and reach out to her as a FRIEND. Just let her know that you are still available to talk then leave the decision up to HER to make the next move. There's no way of knowing how she'll respond but at least you've given her the opportunity to be helped. When she's ready, she'll come. She can't come if she doesn't know that you are there for her.
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